ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
