What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
