Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
