Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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