he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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