I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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