did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
