Buhtt sex?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
