The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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