Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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