they need to just BURY HIM!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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