You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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