Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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