I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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