You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
