i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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