you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
When are your genitals available?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Come on in and take your pants off
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