They should really pass out barf bags in church
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
