just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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