I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
