She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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