How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
