I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
