SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
