Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i now understand why vodka
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
