Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
