I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
