Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
