fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
