who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
