He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
