Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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