Nicole vs. Life
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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