i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
