my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
