Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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