At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
