If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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