why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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