I think I am morally bankrupt
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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