so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
