Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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