I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
