Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize