hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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