She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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