She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize