I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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