I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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