weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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