after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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