You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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