I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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